


after you

by makeashadow_ao3



Series: Motel [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bonkai, Canon Divergent, F/M, bonnie finally gets a life basically, unrequited pining maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22374685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeashadow_ao3/pseuds/makeashadow_ao3
Summary: Post 6x16: After the night in the nightclub, Bonnie drops everything and skips town. But, even months later, some people can't seem to leave well enough alone.
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett & Damon Salvatore, Bonnie Bennett/Malachai "Kai" Parker
Series: Motel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610617
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a repost of one of my older fics with some mild edits. i decided to move most of my ffn fics here, so expect a much of not-so-new bonkai fics. title from the meg myers song of the same name.

I/II

Waylon Jennings plays on the radio, the station going in and out each time the front door opens. It still operates on analog, its antennae bent almost in half. It'd been fished out the corner of a thrift shop behind a Fisher-Price chatter telephone with one eye. Lola says. The woman protects that thing with her life - and a switchblade she keeps tucked in her bra.

It's a little after eight and it tastes like laughing. Like pepper seasoned potato wedges and amaretto. The cracked leather of the bar stool has molded quite nicely to the shape of her ass. At least that's what Noel laughs when she returns from the restroom. He points at the two indentations, like Venn diagrams. Bonnie rolls her eyes and orders another amaretto with coke. Light on the coke.

Lola is pacing behind the bar, one of her hands at the base of her neck, the fingers of the other tapping along the small of her back. Were Bonnie any other person in any other juke joint, she'd take advantage of the small bartender's absentmindedness and top off Noel's beer. But Lola's good people, with her titty tat of Jimmy Buffet's autograph proudly displayed. So she tries to get the other woman to spill what's on her mind.

It's a little after eight and she hasn't thought of _him_ once today. She doesn't even think of him now. It only shocks her that he hasn't crossed her mind. And thinking of thinking isn't the same as thinking.

"Still counts," Lola comments. Noel raises his gin and tonic in agreement, muttering an "ooh, yeah."

With a smile, she tells them to go fuck themselves.

This is her life now. Holding down the counter of a bar so often some of the locals think she works here. She doesn't. She came to town with a stash of cash and Noel doesn't ask questions. As long as she chips in with rent and groceries, his couch is hers.

She met him when she first arrived, caught him staring at her from the mirror of the sunglasses carousel in a drug store. She'd turned to confront him, her paranoia still on high alert, but he grinned like they were long lost best friends.

"My boyfriend would die to get his hands on your car, girlie."

Their eyes went to the baby blue Camaro parallel parked by the curb. Bonnie had tried to hide her smile, tucked her secret back with her tongue. "Careful. The owner might just take him up on that."

"_Ooh_. Your boyfriend's car."

"Friend. He's letting me borrow it. I needed to get out of town for a bit."

He perched himself on the shelf of batteries nearest to her and pursed his lips. "I guarantee you won't find much to do around these parts. You've driven straight into Dullsville."

"Perfect."

He let her crash at his place that night. And pretty much every night since. Even lets her park the Camaro in his landlord's garage. She still hasn't told him it's stolen.

Bonnie tries once more. "Lola, what's eating at the brain of yours?"

Instead of answering, her blue eyes like globes dart to the door just as the song on the radio turns to static. Bonnie glances over her shoulder and tenses, but it's too late to run. Calmly, she turns back around, throws a glare at the skittish bartender, who looks guilty as hell, and downs her drink.

"You've only yourself to blame," he says, sliding onto the barstool to her left. Curious, Noel peers around her at the newcomer, who wags his thick eyebrows at him before focusing on Lola. "You've been a real peach, Lacey."

Of course her real name isn't Lola. Her titty tat probably isn't real either, Bonnie thinks, glowering. "Sorry, Sheila," _Lacey_ frowns before shrinking into the kitchen.

"Sheila, huh?"

"Shut up."

"Come on, _Sheila_. Why don't you introduce me to your friend here?"

Noel, with his puppy dog brown eyes and black hair, is biting his tongue bloody with all the questions he's holding back.

"Noel, this is Damon Salvatore. Damon, Noel."

"Is this _the_ guy?"

"The one who owns the Camaro, yes." Her words are clipped and Noel knows well enough at this point that now is not the time. She'll explain when they get home. If she makes it that far. He nods, says he's going to go check on Lola, and escapes to the back.

"I thought Mystic Falls was the armpit of the south. But, no. You, Bonnie, sorry,_ Sheila_, have found the true BFE deep in the heart of Texas." He claps twice for emphasis.

"Three months, wow. Color me surprised. What took you so long?"

Damon huffs a sigh. "I got a little distracted, I'll admit."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"You stole my car, Bonnie. You didn't think I'd let you live that down, did you?"

"What's a car when you got the girl?"

"I am not going there with you. I've driven nonstop in a red Prius rental car and I haven't eaten someone in days. Noel looks mighty tasty if I do say so myself."

She glares him down. "Don't you touch him."

He chuckles, a growl in his chest, and lifts his hands in surrender. "I didn't come to fight. I came to take you home."

"Take your car. I'm not going back."

"I wasn't asking."

She wheels on her barstool to face him straight on. Still just as sleek as ever. Eyes like ice, denim and leather his staples, his hair longer than usual. His skin is sallow, though, dark circles sharpening his already stark features. "How'd you get Lola to sell me out?"

"_Lacey_ sleeps with her English professor, who just so happens to be my rare book dealer. He comes along a first edition Jack London or, say, a stolen vintage blue Camaro, he gives me a call."

"And Lola?"

"She can't afford to graduate without the credits from his class. The price of modern day loyalty."

Scoffing, she gets up from her stool and rounds the counter of the bar. Pushing open the kitchen door, she passes the cook and finds Lola crying on a milk crate, Noel's arms around her. She looks up, her mascara and nose snotty.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't think, Sheila. When Professor Folds asked me all these questions about you and your car, I figured you're new and it's a small town and he was curious. But then that guy walked in and I thought - _oh my god, what if he's some abusive ex of yours you've been running from, and I led him straight to you?_ I could be the reason he kills you. And the thought of you dead..."

She's wracked with sobs and becomes unintelligible after that, though she manages more blubbered apologies.

Exhaling heavily, Bonnie crouches down while Noel smooths Lola's bottled blonde hair from her wet face. "He couldn't kill me if he wanted to. And he's not my ex. He's a friend who's not too happy with me leaving, but that's it. If he looks murderous, well, that's just his face."

She simpers, settling down. "Is he the _guy_? The one you always talk about without actually talking about him?"

The witch shakes her head though she can't quite get the "no" off her tongue.

"You stole his car, didn't you?" Noel asks. "As long as you've been here, you always forget where the gas tank is."

"Borrowed."

"Without expressly given permission," Damon's wry voice sounds behind her. Lola jolts and Noel holds her tighter, his eyes cold as he looks up at the vampire.

Bonnie throws a glare over her shoulder. "Can you wait by the car?"

"So you can sneak out the back alley? What kind of an idiot do you take me for, _Sheila_?"

"The kind that took three months to come looking for me."

He rolls his eyes, probably choking back on whatever retort he won't say in front of these strangers.

"Hey, remember Anthony said he'd cook us dinner. Do I need to call him and change our plans or...?" That's Noel's less than subtle way of reminding her his boyfriend, a six foot three, two hundred forty pound juvenile detention center guard and Gemini witch is one text away.

"I'll pass on dinner tonight." Their eyes widen so she rushes to reassure them, saying she'll be home later. "I'm not going anywhere."

After placing a kiss on Lola's forehead and nodding toward Noel, she follows Damon out of the bar to the Camaro. He stops and holds out his hand.

Scoffing, she rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest. "You're not driving."

"_It's my car_."

"We can keep having this same argument, but unless you want to open that door and then walk through it - we do this my way."

His nose flares again, the veins under his eyes momentarily revealing themselves, but he bits back his anger. It never much got him his way with Bonnie. Instead, she drives the Camaro, tailing him in his Prius to a local motel. He jimmies open the rusty door and bows, murmuring "after you". A travel bag is overturned on one queen bed, the other with rumpled sheets.

"Drove nonstop, you say?"

"I had to get some sleep. Hungry and tired, I would've ripped everyone's heads off in that dive."

"That bar is my home. Be nice."

"_Second_ home."

"I know what I said."

He shuts the door behind them and the lock engages. "What the hell, Bonnie?"

"What?"

"You ditched us. You stole my car. You didn't even say goodbye."

"You want an apology? Fine. I'm sorry I thought porting you out of ninety-four was a smart decision. I'm sorry I thought sending my teddy bear full of my magic, leaving me stranded and helpless in some dark dimension with a murderous lunatic, was a good idea. I'm sorry that I kill myself over and over and over again for everyone else around me and I can't count on anyone to do the same for me.

"But, no, I am not sorry for leaving."

"You know I thought getting you back would be a good thing," he starts, and the sentiment stings.

He brushes past her and sits on the bed with the messy sheets. "I had my girl, I'd have my adversary turned unlikely best friend, my brother, things were supposed to be good. Turns out things are shit. You up and disappeared, Stefan is off helping Caroline mourn. Liz Forbes died. She's gone, Bonnie. And you couldn't be bothered to stick around and be there for Caroline."

She whirls around to face him. "Care turned off her humanity and threatened me the second I got back. And, you do not get to lecture me."

"I'm not, I'm..." Peeling off his leather jacket, he groans. "I'm tired, Bonnie. Ever since you sent me back, I've been the man with a plan. And even if I had no plan, I had to find one. And it's fucking exhausting."

"Welcome to the club."

"I don't want to wear the hero hair anymore."

"You know it's the only way to keep the girl."

_The girl_. Bonnie didn't understand it. Elena wiped her memories. She got Alaric to compel them away, manipulate them so all she really knows of Damon is the bad he's done. How did she not go running and screaming in the other direction? How could she be so quick to saddle up to him again? But then she got it. What drew them together in the first place was the idea of a heroic Damon. Damon fighting to rescue Bonnie from 1994 was a mirror of Damon fighting to save his brother from Klaus' clutches.

Damon Salvatore playing savior is a one way ticket into Elena Gilbert's good graces. Simple. Time tested. Sometimes Bonnie wishes it were that easy to completely disregard the past when it stares her in the face day after day.

He goes silent, and she thinks he's stopped breathing. But he's just sitting there with his jaw clenched - like a stubborn child.

"I'm sorry you drove all the way out here, but I'm not going back. You should go home. Take the Camaro. I have enough money saved up to buy my own car."

"I didn't wait three months to start looking for you," and it comes out as a whisper.

"What?"

"_I didn't wait three months to look for you_. I started the moment I knew you were gone. When Stefan told me my car was stolen, I knew you'd taken it." He laughs in spite of himself. "I put bugs in ears, told old friends to keep an weathered eye out for you, but I figured you needed the space. So, I gave it to you."

"Gee, thanks."

"Friends in New York, Elijah in New Orleans, Yancy-"

"Professor Folds' name is Yancy?"

"I held it against him until he gave me Call Of the Wild, first edition." He runs his fingers through his hair. "You needed time and I was going to make sure you got it. But then you didn't come back, Bon. No phone call, no letter, no smoke signals. Nothing. Elena was outside of her mind wondering about you."

"Okay." The skepticism in her voice rings loud and clear. She drops down next to his duffel on the second bed, her arms still guarding her middle.

"She was."

"She has _you_. And Jeremy is safe and sound at art school or whatever. She doesn't have a worry in the world, not really."

"She was gung-ho about sending out a search party."

Bonnie wants to tell him she knows he's lying. She wants him to stop trying to ply her sympathies by using a girl she considered her best friend as leverage. She wants him to shut up. "Why come after me now? Is Mystic Falls on fire? Has someone been kidnapped and put under some spell you need me to break? Why are you here, Damon?"

"We missed you."

"I was dead for three months but no one missed me too terribly until they needed a witch."

"Bonnie..."

"I was stuck in that prison world for months after I sent you back. I had to figure how to worm my way out by myself. No one missed me too much then."

"Bonnie..."

"What is it? What do you need me to fix? Who do I have to save? Why can't you let me have this one thing, Damon, instead of you being so selfish? Why do you want to ruin this for me?"

"I missed you, Bonnie! Okay? _I_ missed_ you_. Nothing is on fire. No one is in harm's way. For once, everything is fine. But I lie awake at night and I miss you. So I told Stefan I needed to see a man about a horse, got a rental car, and drove here because I miss you. I didn't even tell Elena."

She gets off the bed and throws her hands up in the air. "Don't, don't do that. _Don't_ put me in the middle of your relationship."

"Is it so impossible that I would think of you for a change?"

"Yes! _Yes_! Because it's never happened ever! Something happens to Elena or even Caroline, and everyone drops everything to swoop in and save them. Instantly. Something happens to me and everyone twiddles their thumbs. None of you put me first, so I finally did. And you know what, I'm happy."

He smirks. "You sleep on the couch of your gay best friend and spend your nights drunk at some dive of a bar in a place smaller and more boring than Mystic Falls - and you call that happy?"

"Yes! Because when I come home from my shift at the library or volunteering at the community greenhouse, Noel asks me how my day went. When we drink coffee in the morning, he asks me how I slept and tells me I sleep talked about some guy again. When I go to Lola's, she hugs me, asks me about my well-traveled life, and how on earth some lucky guy or gal hasn't snatched me up yet. They check on me at work. They take me out to lunch. They care about me, Damon. _And_ they show it.

"I'm not some magical fix-it to them. If they come to me with their issues, it's so they can gain some perspective. Not so I can step in and solve their problems for them. Do you really not get that?"

She expects him to fight, to raise his voice or just haul her over his shoulder and drag her home. What she gets is a solemn nod and a raise of his eyebrows. "I get it. Believe me. The same way I get Stefan skipping town after we died. You needed to hit the restart button. Reboot in a different life."

"So, why are you here?"

"Because I'm a selfish creature."

He pats the bed beside him and she reluctantly acquiesces, plopping down on the mattress. He throws an arm across her shoulders and leans in, his breath hot on her neck. "I made a promise to Emily I would protect her linage to the best of my ability and I can't very well do that when you're halfway across the country."

"Emily can't hurt us now. Besides, I'm a big girl."

"You're naïve."

"Oh, am I?" She shrugs out of his grasp, shoving him away, and glares. "I made it seventeen years before you showed up. I think I can get by just fine."

He sucks his teeth. "Who's the guy you talk about in your sleep?"

She steels. It's been three months since Damon decided to come looking. There was someone who was a little quicker on the draw. "Excuse me?"

"Lacey mentioned you talk about a guy without talking about him. And Noel knows you talk in your sleep. So who is he?" He smirks. "Is it me?"

"No" is her immediate answer.

"Jer Bear?"

"It's none of your business."

"You've got unfinished business, Bon bon. If I can help..."

"You can't." She shoots up and marches to the door. The memories flood back. A motel room much like this one on the other side of town. The rustle of clothes and smack of skin, teeth at her neck and heat between their legs. All it took was his promise he'd leave. They got it out of their systems and he went on his way.

"It's not unfinished. It's over."

She turns to face him once more. "I've moved on. From everything. You should, too. You all should."

With pursed lips, he stands and squints at her. "Just tell me what he said to you."

"He didn't say anything. Nothing about you, anyway."

"But he said something." It should worry her that they're speaking of the same person without even saying his name. "_Bonnie..._"

"He told me I deserve a real shot at life, okay? One where I'm not a foot solider to anyone." She shrugs. "It's nothing Grams wouldn't have told me."

"You're taking advice from him now? You know he's a feral cat on an endless supply of catnip."

"This isn't about him. This is about me - or is it so hard to believe I'd ever do something in my best interest if someone else didn't first convince me?"

He steps towards her. "_When_?" he asks and he doesn't afford her the chance to play dumb. Not with that dark gaze in his eyes, his pupils expanding.

"He found me three days after I left. He was here by day five."

"And when'd you last see him?" His jaw is set to the side, tongue pressed to the backs of his teeth.

"Only the once." She conveniently leaves out how _once_ equaled a solid week. Seven days holed up in that motel room wrapped in sheets, sweat, and whatever food they could get delivered.

"Where is he now?"

"You're the one with eyes everywhere. You tell me," she snaps. "I told him to leave and he left. At least _he_ knows how to listen."

He flashes across the room and then suddenly he's in her personal space breathing hard and staring down at her. "You know I can't go home empty-handed."

"You won't." She puts the keys to his car in his palm and folds his fingers around them. When he says her name in that pleading voice of his, she stops him. Her hand on his chest, pushing him back so his close proximity doesn't overwhelm her. She may be immune to compulsion, but he's still a charming predator creature. "I am an adult capable of making perfectly logical decisions. Treat me like I'm under duress and who knows what I'll do. I've started fires in my sleep, you know."

He swallows, her threat hitting its intended mark. "The others are worried."

She wants to refute, but she bites her tongue. "Tell them I'll call when I'm ready. And I will. But not a moment sooner."

Twisting open the door, she goes to step out of the room when he fires off one last insult. "What's so special about your new friends anyhow?"

"Nothing." She peeks over her shoulder, her lips twitching at a smile but she keeps it cool. "Maybe that's why I like 'em so much."


	2. Chapter 2

II/II

She stares at the screen. It's a text message with four words from a number no longer saved in her phone, but she'd recognize the sequence of digits anywhere.

_Don't be a stranger ;)_

Damon's goodbye for now. He's always one to have the last word.

She walks to Noel's from the motel, letting the warm summer air calm her. The town really isn't all that different than Mystic Falls in that she can walk alone at night and not fear being a target. Most people tuck into their houses in time for Wheel of Fortune and she's a friendly face at Lola's. Those are the only options here. She appreciates the simplicity of that.

Half expecting Damon to pull up alongside her, poke and prod and try to convince her to leave with him, she looks over her shoulder each time a car approaches every few minutes. Much like her first few weeks here. Her paranoia rearing its ugly head is one of her least favorite feelings. So, she does the next best thing.

"Can you meet me somewhere?" Her voice cracks as she speaks into her phone, and she clears her throat. There is a long pause before the words "when and where?" answer her.

Twenty-four hours later, she's sitting in a booth at a diner by the interstate. Her coffee grows tepid, her eyes watch the parking lot, and thumb grazes the touch screen each time it dims. The waitress has already been by twice to see if she's ready to order, but to be honest she's the one who's early.

About fifteen minutes early - because the door opens at ten o'clock on the dot and immediately he slides into the booth next to her. His leg right against hers, his arm thrown on the back of the booth.

"I drove twelve hours straight to get here, so forgive the jitters. I've been mainlining coffee."

And then without asking, he grabs her mug and downs it in a swift gulp. He signals for a refill, and Bonnie watches him. Drags her eyes down his pale cheekbones and over the thick scruff along his jawline. His usually collected demeanor is gone, replaced with frustration and anxiety. He's rankled, his magic rolling waves under his skin.

"What was in Denver?" she asks once the waitress is out of earshot.

He waves his hand dismissively, not bothering to meet her gaze. "Coven business. I would've been here sooner, but..."

"I told you to leave."

He finally turns his head to look at her, really gives her his attention, and she's hit with a barrage of emotions. Longing, her gut tightening, and residual anger that can't muster the energy to be outright anymore. Relief he's sitting in front of her, that he even took her call last night. Concern because he isn't just tired, he _looks_ it - and he's usually so good at masking that up. But the drive and whatever he's been in since she last saw him has drained him.

However, his coven affairs are his own business, and she's not going to pry.

He nods at her. "_You _look good."

She shrugs, rips open a packet of salt, and tosses a little bit in her mouth to calm her stomach and her nerves. She may have had one drink too many. "Met a chiropractor at the bar earlier and he properly cracked my back, so I should be good on a couch for a few more months."

The chiropractor was a good distraction. Lola spent most of the night plying Bonnie with free drinks and appetizers in hopes of the witch forgiving her. Which was a pretty moot point, because she'd considered it no skin off her nose. No one got hurt, Damon had left without ripping off anyone's head, and _Lacey_ would get her English credit. _Who wants shots of Fireball?_

"Oh, Bon, you know I could do that and not even charge you for it."

"I paid him in Screwdrivers." She grins at him. "Pretty even trade."

The corner of his mouth twitches, jealousy and humor warring, and he looks down. "You're still at Tony's?"

She nods, though he can't see it. "He and Noel are great. Last week they showed me how to recharge my magic using the energy of the new moon _and_ I let Tony peek at my grimoire. He's been dying to see Grams' 'recipes'."

"We Geminis do love a good Bennett spell..." Having digested whatever he is feeling, he glances back up. "So wha-"

"Damon found me."

He blinks, eyebrows knitting.

"Last night. I should've mentioned it when I called but I couldn't think straight. He kept trying to talk me into going back to Mystic Falls. I had half a mind to let him."

"Sure took him long enough. Where's he now?"

"Gone. The Camaro wasn't at the motel this morning and the office manager said he'd checked out."

There's a lull, so he orders another coffee, this one for Bonnie since he took hers. They pass on getting food. Kai, for once, isn't hungry and Bonnie is full on jack and coke.

"Should I ask why you decided to call me or will we act like this didn't happen once I leave?"

"I never acted like _that_ didn't happen... I just don't talk about it."

"I must have been really good if you keep me a secret." He gives her a closed mouth grin with those mocking eyes.

"Shut up."

He laughs and it's the first in a long time since she's heard that sound, throaty and gasping for release. He rarely did it before, not in any genuine way anyway, so that one uninterrupted week was like an overdose. It would precede him enveloping her in his arms or when she'd surprise him with an off-the-wall remark because she can be funny without even trying. But really, any time she's not having any of his shit, that's when his chest heaves and lightens itself.

"Kai..."

He interrupts her, leaning in to speak low in her ear. "We should go someplace a little more private to talk."

"You can do a cloaking spell just fine right here." Unimpressed, she bats her eyes.

But the offer is tempting. It'd been far too long before someone held her the way he had and far too long since. And her mind flutters through a number of those instances. Him moving over her and her riding him, his fingers digging into the soft areas of her body. Him behind her while she was pressed to the closed bathroom door, his hand clasped over her heaving whimpers because the housekeeper was busy changing their sheets. His nose nuzzled between her thighs in the shower because he wondered if it was similar to waterboarding and when would he ever get another chance to find out. But she doesn't want to make a bad habit of being bedfellows with him.

If there's any thing she's good at, it's making bad habits.

He audibly sighs and smacks his lips. "Well, obviously you wanted to see me. Otherwise, we could've just listened to one another breathe on the phone. Again."

"A phone call didn't seem right after..."

"After we went heels to Jesus so many times you're on a first name basis with the guy?"

"Play nice."

"I will if you play it straight. Why did you need to see me?"

And suddenly every conceivable conversation she'd practiced evaporates and she's rendered speechless. Damon came to town with a plan. Find Bonnie, bring her home. What was hers? See Kai. ...then what? Stare at him until he gets bored? Hope he's into a repeat performance of the last time they were in the same room?

"I'm moving again."

"Huh. Thanks for the warning this time. You happening upon my cousin's boyfriend was serendipitous, but my luck is pretty shit ten times out of ten."

A small fucking world it is that Bonnie _happened_ upon Noel and Noel's boyfriend _happens_ to be a Gemini witch, who _happens_ to understand Kai's side of things when it comes to the merge. Not that Tony ratted her out like Lola had. No, Kai Parker is keener and a lot more resourceful. Plus it helped that she forgot to turn off her location on her phone when she left Virginia. Kai didn't even have to threaten to maim the guy at the cell phone company to track her down. Good ol' dollar bills did him just fine. From there it was just a plane ride into Dallas and a rental car west towards El Paso. Apart from Damon missing his Camaro, none of her townie friends had even noticed Bonnie was gone yet.

"If Damon knows where I am now, then soon everyone else will." She pictures Caroline showing up first. Her hope would suggest Elena, but her instinct knows which vampire is the real go-getter. No, Caroline would find her. Maybe at Lola's, or maybe she'd scout out the town and confront her at the community greenhouse. Grieving or not, the Forbes girl did fancy herself a scene. Elena wouldn't be far behind and she'd probably drag Damon back here with her. Make him force Bonnie into their car when batting her eyelashes and guilt tripping don't do the job for her.

It doesn't help that Damon's surprise visit last night was like a wet blanket on her new life. Noel and Tony were rightfully worried and halfway through concocting a protection spell when Bonnie walked through the front door. She had to repeatedly promise that no one followed him and their sleepy little town was not at risk of a vampire epidemic. Then tonight at the bar, the radio was glaringly absent and it did not go unnoticed by anyone. Not when someone had set a vintage copy of a Jack London novel in its place.

"I could kill him," Lola snarled, stabbing the book with her switchblade. The knife pierced through the thick cover, which attracted the attention of most of the bar patrons.

"Yeah, he has that effect on people," Bonnie had mumbled into her third free drink.

"I can't risk them and their trouble, _my_ trouble following me here. Noel and Lola and Tony don't deserve that. I mean, Damon stole something from Lola, so he is number one on her shit list. But still."

Nodding, he stands. Bonnie thinks he means to leave right then, boredom having overtaken him. Panic grips her. He doesn't, though, his hands stretching upwards and shirt riding up his stomach, flashing a delicious spot of skin. Cracks his neck side to side. Then he plops down on the opposite side of the booth, claps his hands, and leans forwards. "My offer still stands."

She mimics his hushed, business-like tone. "I thought you said it was for a limited time only."

He smirks, the shared memory surfacing. His arm circling her waist, pulling her naked back against his chest, spooning her. He'd pressed his lips to the dip just under her ear, the scruff of his facial hair eliciting a shudder through her body. Their legs tangled with each other's and the motel sheets. It was only day two.

"_Come with me_," he'd groaned and she laughed him off, making some connection to a dirty thought. "_To Portland, Bonnie. I want you to come with me_."

And he asked every night for the next five days, until she finally came to her senses and told him to go. Without her.

"What can I say? I'm a generous guy." He winks, playfully pushes the toe of one of his boots to the toe of her ballet flats.

She shifts in her seat, stirs cream into her mug of coffee she won't drink, and frowns. In her time alone, away from vampires and werewolves, she considered it. He made it sound pretty damn enticing. In the northwest region, witches reign. Not only Geminis, but a whole collective of mystics. Granted, they aren't without their clashes, but wouldn't it be nice to not worry about rolling your eyes at the wrong person and them sinking their fangs into your neck in retaliation? Then he'd grazed the spot where her carotid pulsed with his own perfectly ordinary teeth.

"I was actually thinking Phoenix this time."

"What the hell is in Arizona?" He can't help the dripping envy in his tone. "Scorpions, tumbleweed..."

"The Grand Canyon. _My cousin Lucy_."

He sits back, his eyebrows raised. "Ah, the more elusive Ms. Bennett. She is a hard woman to track down. Not nearly has forthcoming with her blood or help as your grandmother was."

"She spent a long time under the thumb of a vampire. I wouldn't judge her too harshly."

He scoffs, cold and biting. He cares less about Lucy and her constantly changing whereabouts and more about Bonnie's own refusal to his offer. "You'd really choose the desert over an established coven of witches with centuries of history with your family." He scrubs his face with his palms. "You really hate me, don't you?"

"I don't hate you."

That assumption hurts. After all this time. Sure, that is exactly what their first night together had been. Hate-fucking. Getting rid of all their pent-up sexual tension in a seedy motel, because killing each other had lost its zeal now that they both are on their ninth lives. Though, when he first found her in the stacks of the local library days after she'd arrived, she almost made good on her promise. Her mind already crafted an image of Kai's skin and muscles and smug ass grin melting off bone. Turns out, the sex was less messy. Though, not by much...

But the days after that and her time without him since, what she feels for him is something other than hatred. And some days she actually tries to understand it –

Not how Elena had done with Damon. Or Stefan. Nor how Caroline ignored Klaus' nature long enough to give into him in the woods. No, her friends operated from the point of view that they could overlook so much evil and carnage. _Despite. _If Bonnie were to follow in their footsteps she had to feel what she felt for Kai _in spite of_ all the bad he'd committed. She wouldn't distance the man from his actions. Bonnie had to accept him for everything if she had any chance of not hating herself for the time she shared with him.

– before burying it deep again.

"At this point, I want to do what it takes to stay alive. Whether we like it or not, you've been a direct threat to that."

Over the wood laminate of the table, his hands find hers and she's careful not to breathe when his thumbs finally skim her knuckles, the cold metal of his rings trailing across her skin, fingertips gingerly massaging at her scarred palms. He hasn't actually touched her since he arrived until now, and she shivers at the thought of how long he's wanted to do that, just that. Wonders how well he'd memorized her body before she was ever aware of him in the prison world.

Taking stock of her memories, she'd say very well.

"The idea of you dead without a prison world or the Other Side to come back from actually terrifies me." He struggles to get those words out, his throat dry and voice husky. "But you can't say I didn't try."

When he looks up, he finds Bonnie's face clenched in frustration.

"That's what you call a try?" She doesn't mean for her voice to crack but it does. He grimaces at her tone and she sneers back at him, pulling her hands away. "Well, it's bullshit and you know it."

"Enlighten me."

"When have you ever been satisfied with a ribbon for participation when you could go for first place? You stuffed me in a trunk and hauled me across the country once upon a time - on principle. You could've easily taken my blood and be done with it. So, if you think I'd be satisfied with a 'try' from _you_, of all people, you're wrong _and_ you're an idiot."

He lets out a humorless laugh. "You won't come with me and you know I can't stay," he retorts, his voice equally strained trying not to draw attention. "What else is there?"

She pouts and then mutters, "I can't buy into the fantasy for at least a moment?"

The fantasy that, just once, someone would place her above all things, any allegiances to siblings, or a city, or power. The fantasy of him tossing her over his shoulder, carrying her out of this rinky-dink diner, and taking her with him. Not before they had their way with each other in their motel room down the road, of course.

"We had a week's worth of moments, Bon. I think you're confusing the horror story that is our lives with the fairytale you wish it was."

The resignation in his words brings Bonnie back to herself, back to the adult capable of making logical decisions. The one who thought seriously about packing up and leaving Mystic Falls for good before she ever left 1994. The one who keeps the cure to vampirism secretly tucked away in her suitcase because it's a damn good bargaining chip. The one who knows squatting on a friend's couch is more cost effective than signing a lease on an apartment in a town where she knows she isn't going to stay forever because what is forever?

Slow dancing with him while draped in sheets as a David Bowie song blares from the neighboring room, giggling when he gives her a beard of bubbles in the tub, tapping her fingertips over his eyelids and down his nose while he sleeps…

He's right. That's all a fairytale. His day-to-day consists of running a coven and considering his temper, not getting himself killed - a feat in and of itself. Forever isn't a dimly lit room with the sounds of the highway in the distance, and normal for her is a life of impending drama. Their fantasy would never last, anyway.

"I hate when you're right." She glares at him but much of her anger has dissipated. He gives her a tight-lipped smile that doesn't reach his eyes, grey and filled with just as much longing. Her heart hiccups in her chest and she makes herself look away. "Hate it, hate it, hate it."

She pays for their coffee, he leaves the tip, and they both step outside to breathe in the dusky Texan night air. He watches her, her chin tilted up and eyes closed. She's shifting. The girl always tied to her little town is becoming a nomad much like the very few remaining members of her coven. She may never know the solidarity that comes with being a part of a coven, but she can always hope. Something she never had much of a shot at when stuck in Mystic Falls.

She's never looked so beautiful to Kai.

"One for the road?"

She opens her eyes to meet his and is so close to giving in. Their old stomping ground is within walking distance and there's a warmth pooling at her center aching for him. Sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, her eyes glisten. "Rain check?"

He nods, deems that acceptable enough, before fitting her between his body and the side of his car. He captures her mouth and she yields to him, gasping open her lips wide enough for him to take advantage. His tongue coaxes hers to play, and it's amazing how easily they fall right back into each other. Rediscovering their favorite spots and knowing how much pressure to put where to get the reaction they want. They definitely have an audience of diner patrons but neither care enough to break apart. He leaves his hands firm on her hips, keeping their pelvises flush to one another, while her hands roam. Over his shoulders, up his neck, her fingers combing through his hair.

When they separate for air, his scruff has wreaked its sweet havoc on her face, bruised and raw. He wipes his thumb across her bottom lip, a soothing spell clearing any trace of irritation. She breathes, "On second thought..."

"You snooze, you lose, Bon." He pulls completely away from her and glides easily into the driver's seat of his car. Torture is a two way street with them. "What do you take me for, a booty call?"

"Well, yeah," she grins.

He mirrors her expression and cranks the engine to life. "You know where to find me."

She nods, clasps her hands together in front of her. "Yeah. Leading a scary ass coven. Just like you always wanted," she says, swallowing any trace of emotion that may give away the fact that she's never known what she's wanted. Not like he has.

He closes the door, then rolls down the window and beckons her closer. She rests her hands on the door and leans in, rests her forehead against Kai's. "You want to know what's really in Denver? A committee on the ethics of twin merging and potential magical workarounds. Centuries too late, if you ask me, but the new coven leader is pretty progressive. At least that seems to be the general consensus." He lets his tired eyes shut. "We've recessed until I get back. Who knows when I'll next sleep?"

She leans in and kisses him, and this time it's sweeter, her own goodbye - for now. His hands at either side of her face, he holds her there and is loathe to let her go. Nips at her bottom lip like he wants to take a piece of her with him.

"Call me when you make it west."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one day i might even write the prequel to this...


End file.
